I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
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