you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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