Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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