rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
