As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
