He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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