there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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