Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
