Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
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Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
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Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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