# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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