So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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