omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
