My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
