idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
