Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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