Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize