Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
