Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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