VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
