He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
