Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
