Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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