K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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