so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
