SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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