Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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