it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
