I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
