sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
