how do flat chested girls get laid?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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