i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
