Will you blow on my dice?
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
