I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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