somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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