Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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