I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
