I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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