I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
