my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
