She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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