you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
