Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
we made out on top of his cat.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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