My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
