I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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