Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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