that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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