No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
