Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
