Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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