yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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