based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
