office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
