Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
