her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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