Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
and she was petting her beer can
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
