so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
